12 weeks later - a healthier, happier, skinny me

Current self :)

40+ lbs ago

  12 weeks ago, I embarked on a weight loss journey.  Nothing new for me, actually the story of my life.   I decided that enough was enough and it was time to try one more time to lose weight, get fit and become healthier.  With the help of the Austin Diagnostic Clinic (ADC) and the HMR program, I started my journey.  I had two program choices: Decision free --  Meal replacements only or Healthy solutions - meal replacements and at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables.  I chose decision free because it allows you to lose weight faster and it drastically reduces your food options making it easier to stick to the plan. The program also requires you to burn at least 2000 PA calories per week.  This is accomplished by any activity that makes you move and use energy.  I usually fast walk/jog in the treadmill, do YMCA group classes like body pump and dance.  I bought myself a Polar watch to get an accurate count on my calories and keep better track of my activity.  I have consistently reached at least 2000 calories in calories burned every week.  I can tell that in the weeks when I do more physical activity (PA), my weight drops more.   I drink at least 2 liters of water per day, 3 if I exercise to ensure my body gets plenty of fluids.  At the beginning of the program, my cholesterol was 230, my blood pressure was 120/80, and my pulse was 80 beats per minute.  Now, 12 weeks later, my cholesterol is 175, my blood pressure has been 110/60 and my heart rate has been in the 60's.  My weight loss so far is 38 lbs and I have lost 21 inches off my body.  7 of those inches came from my waist which has helped reduce my cardiovascular risk.  For women, a waist circumference over 35 inches is considered to be at high-risk for cardiovascular disease.  Any waist measurement reduction is a plus.  I plan to lose another 12 pounds before I move on to healthy solutions and begin incorporating fruits and vegetables into my diet.  From there, I would need to lose another 40 lbs to get to my goal.  Since I have been here before, what is different this time you ask?  Before I used to think it was impossible to lose the weight.  I thought that regardless of how hard I tried, I could only lose a few pounds.  Thinking this way left me sad and discouraged.  After being in the HMR program, I have learned that this is not true.  By eating healthy and exercising, it is not impossible to reach my goal.  Great thanks go to Kimberly and the rest of the HRM (health risk management) clinic at ADC.  Without their guidance and support, I would have not been able to get this far.  Here is to a continuation of this journey.  This is not a short term solution, it is a change of mind set and lifestyle for long therm success.   I finally get it... I will finally get where I want to go.

Why obsessing over the number on the scale is a good thing

Last week, I caught a glimpse of Jennifer Hudson on Oprah.  She sheepishly admitted to having lost 80 pounds and going from a size 16 to a 6. Wow, what an accomplishment!!! She looks fantastic and full of life!!  Sitting on the first row of the audience, was her weight watchers coach/moderator.  Jennifer seemed unsure about disclosing how many pounds she had lost saying that her coach did not want her to say it because she wants people to focus on embracing a healthier lifestyle rather than a number.  What???  She cannot talk about  losing 80 pounds??    Seriously???
I personally do not think there is anything wrong with bragging about your weight loss or focusing on a specific weight loss goal.  It is easy to say that we should "embrace a healthier lifestyle," but how are we going to measure that the lifestyle we have embraced is making us healthier?  Being aware of our weight and how much we have lost is a way to check if our new lifestyle is working for us.  I have tried losing weight by eating healthier and exercising without weighing myself or tracking my progress.  It did not work for me.  I started under estimating my calories and I ate more with the excuse that - "It's okay -- I should still be losing weight."  When I was no longer aware of the impact, I lost track of the calories I was really consuming.  This approach backfired as there was no accountability for my actions.  When I weight myself, the scale stares back at me and gives me the truth.  Whether I like it or not, I get the true story of how my health efforts progressed during the prior week.  It makes me rethink my strategy if I am not heading into the right direction. Maybe the chips and salsa I ate for lunch two days ago was not such a good idea.  Perhaps I shouldn't have skipped a day of exercise.  For everyone afraid of the scale I say embrace it!! Make it a part of your healthy lifestyle. The scale:

• May not show you what you want to see, but it will show you where you are
• Will hold you accountable when nobody else does
• Will motivate you and show you that your efforts are paying off
• If you lost weight, brag about how it!!!  Be proud!!!
• If you gained, pick yourself up and keep trying, it is not the end of the world
• And most important, LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF, ENJOY LIFE, HAVE FUN. 

"It is time for us to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever, the one who recognises the challenge and does something about it." Vince Lombardi

Of course these are just my opinions and not based on any scientific data.  This is what works for me.  I do not proclaim to be an expert in weight loss other than I have had a lot of practice :)

Week 3 - 6 week set back - hernia surgery recovery

I have been avoiding this week's post... I am not sure of all the reasons -- a big reason was that I was all drugged up on pain medicines after surgery last Friday.  I was so dizzy and nauseous for four days, even thinking about sitting down in front of the computer would make me sick.   After I started feeling better, I knew my blog was waiting for me but could not get myself to write.  This is what happens to me when my fitness/weight loss efforts do not according to plan.  I start to avoid reality and I don't want to admit to myself and others that what I committed to do is not happening.
Dr. Fass is my surgeon, and he is great!!  He performed an umbilical hernia repair which will prevent me from doing much exercise (other than walking) for six weeks.  This is really freaking me out --  I had started getting into my jogging routine and after a six week hiatus I will have to start all over again.  This greatly demotivates me and depresses me.  I know the hernia needed to be repaired -- it was causing me pain when exercising, especially during push ups and abdominal exercises.  Six weeks is not that long, so I will continue to focus on taking one week at a time.  My plan for this week is to stay focused on what I am eating so at least my weight remains the same.  I will wait until March to join the Health Risk Management program (HRM) at the Austin Diagnostic Clinic.  I haven't decided yet whether I will stick to the fruits, vegetables and meal replacements or if I am going all in with meal replacements only.   Now that the weather and my health are improving, I am hoping to spend time outdoors walking around trying to burn as many calories as possible.  Several experts say walking is the best exercise to lose weight, we shall see!!

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."  Maria Robinson

Week 2 -- What progress?? No loss or gain

Today was the big day.   Another Monday looking forward to the scale -- what is the magic number this week??  And the number is.... drum roll.....  233 lbs!!!  The same weight as last Monday.   So I broke even for the week... My goal was to lose 2 lbs.  Granted, last week I lost 5 lbs which is insane, but still...  I was fully expecting to lose the 2 lbs this week.  I do feel a change in the way my clothes feel so that is always a positive.  In review of the week, these are my wins and losses:

• Wins
• Reached my physical activity of at least 2000 calories burned - yes!! (treadmill, walks in the park and dancing)
• Ate lots of fruits and vegetables through out the week and stayed positive about my efforts
• Resisted the need to dive into comfort food on Friday after I received bad news
• Losses
• Did not drink the 2 liters or more of water per day as I need
• Went out to eat way too much -- including Laredo style sushi and beer (sushi had cream cheese not good!! and the beer calories add up)
• struggling with the need to dive into comfort food (so far it has not happened)

A couple of weeks ago, I called Kimberly - my weight loss moderator at the Health Risk Management (HRM) clinic in the Austin Diagnostic Clinic (ADC).  The plan is to return to the program this Wednesday.  This is an essential tool for my success.  It helps me stay motivated and Kimberly shares lots of tips and information about health, fitness and weight loss.  The class is one hour long and there hasn't been a time when I go to a class that I don't feel it motivates me to move forward. 

Below is my plan for this week:

• Drink at least 2 liters of water per day (more on days of physical activity
• Stick to the fruits, vegetables and meal replacements
• Exercise at least 2000 PA calories per week
• Return to the Phase II class on Wednesdays
• Minimize the days I go out to eat at restaurants to only weekends. 
• Read my "reasons to lose weight" list daily and every time I think about deviating from my plan

I will not lose focus, I will continue to move forward and see results. 

Emotional eating avoided, the weekend is upon us

I took a business trip to Laredo this week.  I have had a very good week and have stayed on track with my goals.  On Thursday after work, I went out to dinner with one of the managers from our office .  We went to Salsas - the only restaurant I know of that sells both Mexican food and sushi -- Laredo style sushi.  I was intrigued by this combination and it was actually pretty good.  We chose the sushi and beer over Mexican food.  The restaurant had a nice ambience, including a couple of guys playing live music.  My plan for the evening was to focus on the people I was with and not the food on the table. This has gotten easier for me, but it is always a challenge.  It may not make sense to some people, but for most of my life, I have concerned myself with the food I am about to eat than the warm conversations of family and friends going on around me.  By focusing on the conversation, I forget about the food and slow down my eating.  I also feel happier and more connected with the people around me. 
We ordered 3 types of rolls --  the Ricky Martin, spicy tuna and the Gigi -- we also added a cucumber salad yum!!  I cant remember what was on each roll other than they were excellent.
Physical activity for the week so far is 1000 calories burned. This means I have 1000 more to go by Monday.  How am I going to accomplish this?  The plan is to go to a pump class at the YMCA tomorrow and treadmill for walking/jogging on Sunday.  If I dont make it to the Y, then it is treadmill both days.
Today I got some terrible news  -- work related... The type of news that make your heart sink -- my first thought was -- FOOD -- what can I eat???  I was surprised at how instantaneous the thought was.  I was also caught off guard by how quickly I became aware of this thought rather than just giving into it.  Usually, I  reach out for the food without even thinking. Because I was immediately aware of the need to eat, I was able to stop myself by thinking of the reasons eating the food is not worth it.  My hope for future days is that the days when I am able to cope with bad news without running to food become more common and normal.  
Weight loss and fitness plan for the weekend:

• Exercise and achieve 2000 burned calories of physical activity
• drink at least 2 liters of water per day
• stick to the same foods (shakes and HMR meal replacements) for breakfast and dinner
• Have fun and enjoy myself

Laredo Salsa's

Week 1 - Progress report - 5 pounds gone, wohooo!!!

Last week required planning, sticking to healthy choices and adding physical activity into my life.  My goals for the week were:

• Eat at least 5 fruits and vegetables per day
• Have at least 3 HMR shakes and 2 HMR entrees (or a lean protein to replace one of them)
• Drink at least 2 liters of water per day
• Burn at least 2000 calories of physical activity per week
• Weight loss goal - 2 lbs

The butterflies started last night, anticipating the morning and the time of the weigh in. I know it sounds silly, but just thinking about seeing how much I weigh makes me very nervous. I used to think I was better off not touching the scale.  This way I did not stress about it and felt more relaxed about losing weight.  Part of me deep inside also wanted to think I was not gaining weight, even though I was stuffing myself.  Avoiding the scale does not work for me. By not weighing myself, I have no accountability for my actions and do not realize how much more I am really eating. 
My efforts this week have paid off, the scale this morning reads 233 lbs.  That is a weight loss of 5.1 lbs, wohoo!! I knew I had a good week (even though there was alcohol involved) but 5 lbs??  There might be some water loss in there as well, but it does not matter.  I take the 5 lbs loss any time of the day, especially knowing that I did not starve myself, I exercised and drank plenty of water. 
Now here comes the tough part -- keeping the momentum going and not giving up.  I am taking it one week at a time.  It will take determination, planning ahead, and physical activity.  I also keep a "Reasons to lose weight chart".  I created it a few months ago, while reading the Beck Diet Solution, a book by Judith S. Beck Ph. D.  She suggests making a list and have it handy such in an index card.  I put mine in my phone, and I also have the index cards that I take with me on my purse.  I haven't been doing a very good job at reading the list, especially lately when I wanted to eat what I wanted no matter what.  Below are my reasons to lose weight which I carry around with me:

• To feel better about myself
• To be more physically attractive
• So I can live longer
• To be healthier
• To be happier
• To gain more energy
• To shop for cuter clothes
• To get fit
• To gain more self-confidence
• To look better naked
• To feel more outgoing
• To feel better mentally

I will be going out of town this week. My plans for physical activity this week are: treadmill at the hotel, dancing, WII Fit, and maybe a class at the Y.

End of the weekend

The weekend is almost over and I feel very good about what I was able to accomplish.  Weekends are always tough for me, and it is a challenge to stick to my diet.  I always seem to crave some of my favorite foods, and it is really hard to turn these cravings off.  Below is what I did this weekend and how I coped with the cravings:

• Friday -- Challenge --  Met friend for lunch at the galaxy cafe in the triangle.  I felt this was a safe choice since they have plenty of salad choices and soups.  Prior to my arrival, I decided I would get a salad and would not even look at the rest of the menu.  I chose the ahi tuna salad which was excellent!!  I meant to take a picture but forgot all about it. During the rest of the day, I ate fruits, vegetables and HMR meal replacements. 
• Saturday - Challenge --  Outing with kiddos and hubby including birthday party at children's museum.  We had lunch at at Qdoba at the arboretum..  I chose the ancho chile "naked" burrito and added guacamole and extra lettuce.  It was ok, with the exception of the barbecue sauce they poured in it which I could have done without.  By the way, qdoba is not my favorite burrito place, but it was the closest around.  In my opinion, Cabo Bob's is by far the best in town (sorry freebirds).  I love their burritos in a bowl and all the healthy selections they have.  Their sauces are excellent and the people working there are awesome!!  Their fountain sodas are made with Imperial Sugar - my husband loooves this!! I don't particularly care because I drink diet coke but he swears by the taste of imperial sugar sodas versus the syrup. The only bad thing is that there is only one store at Ben White and 71.  Too far for us who live North.  Cabo Bob -- Please come up north, we need you!!!
• At the birthday party, I did not touch the pizza or the cake.  I was tempted to taste the cake, but I knew that having just one bite would not be enough for me so I chose not to even try it. As soon as we got home, I changed into my workout clothes and jumped on the treadmill.  I committed to 20 minutes, ended up doing 40 -- jogging/walking/hills.  About 400 calories burned.
• Sunday --  Challenge -- Lazy day at home, sitting around doing nothing.  I ended up eating some baked Cheetos -- about one serving, not perfect but not too bad.  The rest of the day was filled by fruit, vegetables and HMR meal replacements.

I started the week weighing 238.1 lbs.  I am looking forward to the weight in tomorrow to see what I was able to accomplish. 

Progress

So far, it has been a good week.  I have been able to stick to my plan with one exception -- Wednesday - Pappacitos in Houston - I had two waves (frozen margarita with swirled sangria) and two beers later that night at the hotel bar.  I stayed away from the chips and the chile con queso and I ate grilled chicken and shrimp for dinner.  I have not made the calorie calculation on the alcohol, but I am sure it is quite high. 
The other issue with alcohol, is that it inhibits us so for me -- that means I am more willing to eat stuff I should not.  Luckily for me, this did not happen.  My plan going in to pappacitos was to stick to the grilled food and corn tortillas.  I made this non-negotiable and it worked!!
Other than the Wednesday alcohol, I have been eating fruits and vegetables, the HMR meal replacements, and drinking the two liters of water per day or more. 
The meal replacements I use are products by HMR which I buy at the Austin Diagnostic Clinic.  They have a weight loss clinic called health risk management clinic.  I did the 12 week weight loss program and then moved to maintenance for about a year and a half.  I am currently not enrolled, since I am traveling quite a lot for work.  I can still buy the product and I combine them with fruit and vegetables throughout the day. 
I will be going back into the maintenance program in February, when travel is supposed to slow down a little.  Once I am back in it, I will explain in more detail how it works and what we do. 
I am also very proud of my exercise progress.  So far I have burned 850 calories for the week, wohooo!!!  I have 1150 more to go by this Monday to reach my goal of 2000 calories of physical activity burned.  My plan is to exercise take a break today and exercise again tomorrow, Sunday and Monday.  I will be cutting it close but I think I can make it.  Any type of physical activity counts towards the balance, so even if I go for a quick walk this afternoon, that will count towards my balance.  I will also do WII fit exercises and whatever else I can think of!!
By the way, I only mention the replacements because they work for me.  I don't profess to be an expert in nutrition or weight loss and don't recommend one way or another for trying to lose weight.  These are the things that have worked for me and my lifestyle and I will continue to use in order to achieve my weight loss goal.
I will post some pictures this weekend -- I need to take the "before" picture and post it as well as some pictures of the food I have been eating.
Happy weekend everyone!! 

Plan for this week - Going out of town

I will be going out of town starting tomorrow.  My plan is to watch what I eat and exercise.  For exercise, I am only planning on walking for now.  I have an umbilical hernia that started bothering me really bad this weekend. I have a Dr's appointment on Friday to schedule surgery, yikes!!! Starting tomorrow, I will:

• Keep a food log
• Eat at least 5 HMR meal replacements with me (I will explain later)
• Drink at least 2 liters of water per day
• Eat at least 5 fruits and vegetables per day
• Walk for at least 20 minutes every day
• Focus on the company and conversation rather than the food
• Eat small meals every 2-3 hours

It is important for me to write it down and stick with it.  I will be hanging out with peers that I haven't seen in a while and I am looking forward to it very much. It is easy to overdo the eating and drinking if I don't have a plan in place.   My weight loss for this week:  2 lbs. 

How did this happen??

After four months of delaying the inevitable, I finally hopped on the scale this morning.  I did not like what the scale read...  Although fully expecting it, I still did not like it.  I glared at the number -- 238.1 lbs.  shock, stress, anxiety, reality...  How is this possible??  It seems just like yesterday I was 181 lbs??  Three years ago, I worked very hard to lose 90 pounds.  My starting weight was 271 lbs -- this is not my heaviest...  not that I know what my heaviest is, I was too afraid to weigh myself back then too.  After I made so much progress and was only 22 pounds away from my goal of 160, I gained 57 pounds.  When I think about the reasons, I should not be so shocked. In the last year and a half:

• I started eating what comforts me (after two miscarriages that devastated me)
• I did not exercise regularly
• I stopped holding myself accountable
• I ate out of boredom, sadness, anxiety, you name it!!  I just ate!!

The weight gain was gradual, 5 lbs here, 10 lbs there, etc.  I know I am not perfect, although perfection is what I usually expect from myself.  2011 is when I turn 40. This will also be the year where I will achieve my goals of better health and fitness.

I hope writing about my journey helps me release my emotions, feelings, anxieties and serves as another tool to keep me in the right track.  I will write about my successes and failures and the strategies I am putting in place to help me.
I will not dwell in the past, there is nothing I can do to change it.  I will look ahead and move forward closer to my goal every day.

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. Martin Luther King, Jr.